7 Goals for 2017

Happy 2017 everyone! I know we’re already 10 days into the year so my post is a little late but hey, it’s really never too late to set goals, right?! And in all reality, I did make these goals ahead of time, I just haven’t put them out there for you all yet! 🙂

Personal Goals

First, lets get into our personal goals for the year.

1. Lose 200lbs Collectively

One of the biggest goals my wife and I have is to collectively lose 200lbs. And this is the goal that we will be focusing on the hardest for the year. She wants to lose 100 and I would love to lose 100. Losing that much would put her at goal weight but even when I lose that much I will still only be a little over half way to goal. Now, i realize this is a huge undertaking and may not be the most realistic goal we’ve ever made but hey go big or go home, right?! Honestly, I will be happy as long as I way less on 1/1/18 than I do now. Whether that’s 20lbs or the full 100. But we are really going to shoot for all of it though!

Our starting weights are 340.2 (mine) and 229.6.

What are we doing to make this happen, you may ask.. We are doing Weight Watchers! And My wife is working her little tail off at the gym!

2. Buy a House

Another goal we have for the year is to buy a house! We currently are renting and would love to finally be in our own place. Hopefully we can get the ball rolling soon on this, so stay tuned!

3. Become More Organized

I forget things. A lot. I really need to stop doing it too. So last weekend (well, the weekend of the 1st) we each got Happy Planners and stocked up on supplies! They are so fun and so cute! And so many etsy shops have some really cute things for it as well! These planners are like my new obsession and are already helping me get more organized.

4. Get Finances in Check

This is something my wife and I really need to get in check. I wasn’t much of a spender… unitl we had our son. Now I buy evvvverrrrything. We have way more baby stuff than he could ever need. So we really need to reel in our spending. I would love to get a rainy day fund started as well as paying down some of our debt. I will go into more detail in a future post. I would love to buy a house first so I can really break our finances down to you all and so I can set clear and concise goals.

Blog Goals

Next up are the goals I have for this blog.

As you all know I am still quite new to the blogging world but I do have some ideas on where I would like to see this thing go. So here are those things!

5. Post at Least Once a Week

I think this one is pretty clear lol I want to eventually get up to more posts per week, maybe 3? My issue right now is just time. Maybe if I work on Goal 2 up there ^^ I can better manage my time and work up to 3 but we shall see!

6. Social Media/Subscribers

I would love to get a minimum of 5000 followers on each social media site that I am on (shameless plug coming.. if you want to follow me check out my follow buttons to the right!). Also, I would like to reach 5000 subscribers.. some cool things are currently in the works for my subscribers! (subscription box is to the right too 😉 )

I’m off to a good start but I really want to grow them so I have a wide audience that I am reaching.

Here are my current stats:

  • Pinterest: 338 followers
  • Google+: 93 followers
  • Instagram: 1047 followers
  • Twitter: 1521 followers
  • Facebook Page: 617 Likes
  • Blog: 17 subscribers

If I work hard enough, I truly believe these numbers will grow!

7. Monetize

I would really like to start monetizing this blog. My goals aren’t too huge with this one because I’m still so new and I’m really still exploring how to even do this but by the end of the year I would like to break even with my hosting costs and any course I may take. That’s it. If I break even, I will be a happy camper!

Well, there you have it! Our goals for the year! What will you be accomplishing this year?

Much Love,

-Amanda

 

To the Mother Who was Never a Mom…

The following is an open letter written by my lovely wife, to her mother.

Warning: Explicit language used.

The one thing the majority of us want in life is to be wanted by your family, friends and those who are lucky enough to love you for the rest of your life. The one thing in life that I always craved was a mom to be a mom. I worked really hard in life to overcome the damage that you left on me.

My entire life I watched you push me away by yelling, cussing and treating me like shit. Later in life, I watched you leave and sneak out of the house to get your fix. You would disappear for days. I would have no idea where you were; I just knew I was supposed to come home from school and take care of little brother. Dad would text me saying that you were arrested again and he needed my help with him. One time, you had to go for thirty days. Dad sat me down and asked me to help with getting little brother up and ready for school every day. Then, I had to rush home to make sure he got home from school and that his homework was done – all the things a mother should do. I’m not mad at Dad for making me take care of my brother; I’m mad at you because you couldn’t care less about becoming the mom you were supposed to be. You chose yourself over everyone else in your life. Always. You always did. I spent more than half of my life trying to be nothing like you, only to realize I was never anything like you to begin with.

As a child, I remember being sick and asking you to make me food because I was home from school with a fever. You refused. You stated that you were cold and you couldn’t get out of bed. Are you serious?! I then attempted to get up, struggling to even make it the thirty feet to the kitchen. Before I even got there, you stated “while you’re up make me some, too.” I said no. I couldn’t even make it to the kitchen, and you told me that if I didn’t make you some I was grounded. I then called my dad at work in tears because the one person that was home and I was supposed to depend on wasn’t there for me when I needed it. My Dad then came home from his lunch break and skipped a meal just so he could feed his sick daughter who couldn’t make it to the kitchen on her own – all because the mother of his child refused to get out of bed because she was cold.

My entire life, you called me names and you made me feel worthless. You chose drugs over me. You chose my little brother over me. We’re both your children; why couldn’t we be equal? It wasn’t my fault you didn’t want me. It wasn’t brother’s fault that you loved him more than me. You fucked me up. What is a child to do when the one person in the whole world that is supposed to teach them love and affection ignores them, treats them like garbage, emotionally abuses them, and leaves them to fend for themselves? Despite the ways you treated me, I hid my feelings from my brother. Why? Because I didn’t want him to know the truth about you. I didn’t want him to have the childhood that you had given me. Dad and I lied and said you were away at work, or you went on a bingo trip with Grandma. We covered it up for you all because we wanted him to have the best childhood he could have.

I was relieved when you went to prison. I didn’t have to deal with you mentally and emotionally hurting me anymore. You missed my high school graduation, and many other big events in my life. After Grandma died, Dad finally left you and moved in with Grandpa and I. I was already living there to get away from you. Watching my Grandma die was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but you weren’t there and you didn’t care. Dad left and moved in. I was relieved little brother would finally live a life without a mom that was in and out. He still had his sister, Dad, and Grandpa and that is all he needed.

I promised myself several years ago that I would never become you. I would never let any kind of substance consume my life. I wouldn’t lie, steal, and manipulate to get my way. I wouldn’t become a “parent” to my children only when it’s convenient for me. I would make something of myself. I’m independent, strong willed, driven and I know what I want with my life now. I have an amazing wife, job, son, friends, and even dogs. No thanks to you. When you found out I was gay, you told family friends that I needed to go get “all dicked up.” What kind of mom says that? When you found out I was engaged and getting married you said “cool.” You didn’t care enough to say congratulations and you didn’t care. I hid the date of my wedding because having you there would have ruined the day.

I was thrilled when I found out Amanda, my beautiful wife, was pregnant. You didn’t care. When our son was born, you acted all excited that you were finally going to be a “grandma.” You’re not his grandma. My stepmom is. You will never be anything to him. You weren’t excited that we were together, engaged, married, and pregnant. Why would you be excited now that he was here?
I was terrified to have kids because I was afraid I would turn out like you.

Now that I have a son,
I will cuddle him every night.

We will have macaroni and cheese with chocolate milk for dinner, just because.

We will have movie nights – his choice.

When we make plans, we will actually follow through.

I won’t forget him like YOU forgot me.

I will always be there for my kids, and tell them every single day how much I love them. I look at my son and how much I love him and wonder how you could ever hurt your child. I love him so much it would kill me to break his heart, like you did mine.

I want to take this time to say that I am slowing trying to heal from all the hurt. I’ve held this grudge for so long on my back that it’s like a backpack full of bricks, and I am slowly learning how to let go.

Just because you didn’t love me doesn’t mean that I don’t have to love myself. I am 24 years old and I am JUST NOW gaining my self-esteem. You really tore me down. I’m building myself up now – without you!

Any ounce of success I’ve tasted hasn’t come from your or your guidance. If anything, you’ve only been a living demonstration of everything I shouldn’t be. I got where I am today with absolutely no help from you. You had your chance to raise me and to become a part of my life, but you blew it. I don’t owe you a single thing!

I’m done letting what you’ve done have such a hold on me. It’s a new year and a new me. I don’t need you, and slowly I am realizing that. I hope whatever you’re doing in life makes you happy, because I know you’ve lost the 3 best things to ever happy to you. Your kids and grandchild. I will be the best mom and it will because you showed me exactly what not to do.

Have a nice life,
Angel

Anyone can make a baby.. it takes a special person to be a parent.

Well, how exactly did we become 2 moms and a baby?

One of my main passions in life is my family. And even more specifically fertility, pregnancy, and child birth so watch out for several posts related to those topics. But first things first, let me tell you how my family came to be! Since it may not seem so obvious…😉

4 years now I met my now wife. We met online on not 1 but 2 dating websites! (I guess it was just meant to be). Meeting people in real life from the internet always made me insanely nervous so when my wife asked me on half a dozen dates, I always found some way to cancel. But she finally found a sure fire way to make sure I wouldn’t cancel and that was to pre purchase tickets to a Kansas City Royals game. 1. I love the Royals and 2. I would feel insanely guilty for her wasting her money on a ticket I wasn’t going to use. So I went, we finally met in person and had a fantastic time and before she even made it home I had asked her on a second date. We made it official a week later and as they say the rest is history.

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We moved in together 6 months later since she lived about an hour away and we were so over the somewhat long distance thing. And then about a year and a half after that I proposed! And of course, she said “yes!” All you men out there, mad props to you all because by golly that is unbelievably nerve wracking and scary!

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We got married on our 3 year anniversary in the most perfect wedding just for us! We felt so much love that day it is pretty unbelievable. I get the warm and fuzzies just thinking about it!

I always knew I wanted kids. Ever since I was a little girl, all i could dream about was one day being pregnant and having a baby. So let me tell you what a curve ball it was when I came to the realization that I was gay! Because of course that makes my dream of having my own family, that much harder.

My wife and I discussed having kids practically from day 1. She, at that time, had no desire to carry a baby but wanted one so she was definitely happy to find out I was so eager to be pregnant.

We started seriously discussing having kids, like doing legitimate research and deciding we would start trying immediately after we got married (but let me tell you, it’s sooo hard to find out good info on reproduction for gay couples out there! So hopefully I can be a good resource since I’ve spent countless hours doing so much of my own!) around the time we got engaged. I bought the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” and started tracking my cycles to find out when I normally ovulate so we were as prepared as we could be for when the real work began!

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So after a year and a half of tracking and narrowing my window to about day 1-2 days a cycle that I knew we could get pregnant, we knew we were finally ready to do the “deed”. So we got in touch with a sperm bank. They shipped the necessary supplies to our house and we were able to do artificial insemination at home! And as luck would have it, I got pregnant on the first try, just 6 weeks after we were married! (being successful on try #1 is not very common at all, we got really lucky). We were beyond elated! And I just couldn’t believe it, my childhood dream was coming true!

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But just 2 weeks after getting that Big Fat Positive (BFP) I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. So we knew this was going to be a long hard road. There were a ton of worries that came along with this diagnosis but I did a pretty good job, I think, of managing my blood sugar levels. I did have to go on an oral medication but it was a really low dose and they only had to increase it once. Thank goodness I never had to go on Insulin. Besides the GD, my pregnancy was pretty much smooth sailing besides the normal aches and pains, of course.

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Since I did have GD, I was not allowed to go to full term because of all the risks so at 39 weeks and 2 days I was induced at 6am! My goal for my labor was to go naturally (including no pain meds!) but I knew the risks involved with holding out and I was not willing to take it so I did go ahead and induce with Pitocin. The contractions were pretty manageable for the first 6 hours or so, then my doctor broke my water and holy cow! It was like an immediate switch from being able to manage the pain with concentration and breathing to an all out panic because the pain was so intense. I was able to go another 2 hours without medication but considering I had only dilated 1cm in almost 8 hours, I just didn’t think I could handle that pain for an ungodly amount of time so I went ahead and got the Epidural. The epidural only slightly worked for a little while and then completely wore off. I dilated 5cm in the matter of an hour and felt every bit of it. Felt everything for the next hour as I was pushing as well.

At 6:58 pm our son was born and it was the most amazing experience. Way too many emotions to even put into words, almost like an out of body experience. Now we did wait to find out gender until that moment so it was so special to get to hear the “it’s a boy!” and to hear of my wife telling our family in the waiting room. An experience, I highly recommend!

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He’s 2 months old now and growing so fast. My wife and I are settling into our new roles as mommies and although it’s been hard, we wouldn’t change it for anything. That little boy completely lights up our lives!

So this was the condensed version of how we came about, I might go into more detail in parts later🙂

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us!

-Amanda